“Write a book!” they said.

Well, this is definitely not what they had in mind.

As anyone who has ever read this blog at any point will know, I almost never get around to sleeping.  Well, doing ridiculous things like this is part of the reason why!  I stumbled across the verb for ‘snuggle’ in class this morning (I guess that’s now yesterday morning..) and haven’t been able to think of anything but hedgehogs since.  So, here’s a story in Russian and English, about the adventures of a hedgehog named Charlie.  (Thanks to Fedya and Anya for correcting the worst of my errors!)
















Quick update: Thanks everyone for your lovely comments and feedback!  I’ve corrected my mistakes on the paper copy, but won’t upload new pics with the fixed Russian.  Also, sorry for the massively confusing thing that the mother hedgehog says, it doesn’t translate very well..!  I’m glad you’ve enjoyed the siesta from alcoholism and politics 🙂

Добрая Девушка

It’s a fine line between ‘remembering forever’ and ‘scarred for life’, but that’s the line I tried to walk when I criticised my student’s essay last week.  Like I said, I was very upset after I read it, and knew that he would have known the effect it would have on me.  As such, it was something that needed to be addressed.

After the lesson’s warmer, I asked the students to brainstorm things that would offend a Westerner such as myself.  This was actually on-topic, as we’ve been doing some work on conflict resolution styles over the past couple of weeks.  Also, as my students are obviously learning English, they need to know how to approach the people they’ll talk to in that language.

Once they’d had some time to think, each student wrote a few things on the board, and we discussed them as a class.  We talked about which things were always offensive (eg emotional/sexual/physical abuse), which were usually inappropriate (eg racism, religious intolerance) and which were okay depending on your audience (eg swearing).  I then asked the student who wrote the essay from my ‘intolerance‘ post to stand in front of the class.

I reminded the class that the student was to have written an essay about why he should do his homework, and that he would now read what he wrote to the class.  I asked the class to identify any things which were offensive, based on our list on the board.  (I grouped homophobia together with sexism, partly because that way I’m not breaching St P’s anti-gay laws, and mostly because it’s essentially the same issue—discrimination based on what genitals you have, vs what you like to do with them).

The student then out-right refused to read the essay.  The others all wanted to hear what he’d written, as they knew it must be bad for me to lead into it like that.  I could see the kid felt ashamed, and honestly, my heart ached for him.  I let him squirm for a couple of minutes, then asked him to identify which things on the board he’d demonstrated in his essay.  He identified ‘racism’, ‘tactlessness’ and then ‘sexism’ pretty quickly, and I let him sit down.  I then said the effect that reading the essay had on me.  I’m not aiming for cultural imperialism, but it’s important for my students to be able to identify which issues they have to tread lightly around, and actually as a result of that my students are becoming more and more liberal.  They’re reflecting more and more on whether saying a particular thing is racist, homophobic, etc, and it’s interesting to see them considering their own reactions and assumptions.

The kid looked miserable for the rest of class, and then afterward came up to me to apologise.  He said that he’d had “the devil in him” that day, and that he was upset over things that had happened at school.  He said that he couldn’t believe he had written something like that, that he was very deeply ashamed of himself, and that it wouldn’t happened again.  He was fine the next lesson, so I think I managed ‘the line’ fairly well.

Actually, my decimation of this poor kid was fairly useful on another front.  One recent exercise my groups have been doing is to re-word a letter to make it more forceful.  A lot of them have inserted swearing or personal insults, with only a rare few being colder/more formal/logical, or alternately more emotive and manipulative.  After one kid read his letter out, I stopped the class and said that simply swearing at or degrading someone wouldn’t win arguments with a Westerner—actually, it would make them sound like uneducated children.  I asked them whether that’s how they’d argue in Russian (bear in mind these are teenagers) and they said yes.  I asked whether yelling insults at each other felt good, and they said “yes, if we win.”  To me, this isn’t solving a conflict, it’s just a ‘might makes right’ situation.  As such, I’m now trying to work with them to find better, non-degrading, methods of resolving conflict and disputes, with a focus on logic and on respecting other peoples’ needs and feelings.  (You know, when I was doing ‘Personal Development’ class in high school, I never would have thought it would turn out to be one of the most useful courses I did!)  I’ve even got one student reading Plato’s Euthyphro: while in it, Euthyphro comes off looking stupid thanks to Socrates’ arguments, it is very logical.  I figure the possibility to make someone else look stupid is the hook for this particular student, while the text itself will hopefully lead him to develop his analytical abilities a little more.

Phew.  Longest paragraph in the world!  Speaking of things getting out of control, I accidentally wrote a mini-blog post on the fb page earlier this week.  I decided to include it here as well, as all of the articles are really interesting.  I’ll write a post about the Russian economy etc soon (it’s just a matter of trying to find the time to write!), but this should keep you going in the meantime:

I watched this brilliant video about US wealth inequality, and remembered how a man in a Bulgarian restaurant had a mini-rant at me about how things are ‘crazy’ in America, how wealth is unfairly distributed to doctors and lawyers.After watching the video, I decided to look into Russia’s wealth inequality. Here’s a brilliant quote from Credit-Suisse’s 2012 Global Wealth Report:

“Excluding small Caribbean nations with resident billionaires, wealth inequality in Russia is the highest in the world. Worldwide there is one billionaire for every USD 194 billion in household wealth; Russia has one billionaire for every USD 15 billion. Worldwide, billionaires collectively account for less than 2% of total household wealth; in Russia today, around 100 billionaires own 30% of all personal assets.”

A pension in Russia is ~AU$250 a month, and the average monthly salary is ~AU$670. For the record, living costs here are about the same as they are in Australia.

Here are a couple of really interesting articles which are absolutely worth reading: Russia’s wealth gap wounds Putin; Wealth and Poverty in modern Russia

I find it interesting that, as a former purportedly communist country, Russia is so plagued with inequalities.  There’s the economic situation as typefied in some of the articles I’ve linked above, and then the social situation and mores such as racism, as demonstrated by my student.  It brings me back to George Orwell—it seems that some are still more equal than others.  I wonder how long it will stay that way?

I’d like to finish on an adorable note: late Monday night, as I was still stressing over whether I’d been too harsh with my student that day, another student sent me a message out-of-the-blue on vkontakte:

Student: “Laura, you are truly the greatest teacher, I have ever now!”
Me: “Nawwwwwww thanks name!!  That’s very sweet of you 🙂 :)”
Student: “It is true!!!”

It’s hard to have any self-doubt when they’re so adorable!  <3

Lastly, here’s a video I rather enjoyed (all in Russian, but you’ll get it even if you don’t speak it)


The ultimate meh

The Russian personality, in under a minute (first 27 seconds):

I’m slightly addicted to the ‘Twisted Nederland’ videos and have spent far too many nights not sleeping because of them.  There’s a range of videos just as amazing as the above, and I’ve put a link directly to the Russian section in the ‘Blogs I Follow’ menu to the left.

What I love about the above video is that it shows people behaving like loons, disaster, and then everyone being outrageously freaking relaxed.  The pedestrians just carry on walking once they’re out of the way, and the guy that was hit meanders up the street after the other car.  It’s exactly like my student said – they’ve got their armour on for the day, so whatever happens, they’re going to be able to take it and shrug.

My landlord just left after collecting rent for the month.  I told him that I went in the Neva, and he chuckled and said that during Soviet times, he studied at the uni as well.  Before exams, they’d all go jump in the Neva then drink vodka, so that they’d get sick and not have to take them.  He had a good ol’ chuckle!

Our landlords are adorable, but to be fair I love any Russian who grades their language for me – patience toward my occasionally-retarded Russian is incredibly precious to me.  According to the last census, less than 5% of the population of Russia speak any English, so I don’t have any options if I don’t know how to say something – I have to find a way to express myself, or act it out, or whatever.  Anyone who’s patient enough to take the time to understand just blows my mind.

am of course getting better at Russian (though some days I feel like I was better at it when I was back in Australia), and to that end decided to drop down a level at uni.  My grammar teacher hadn’t been quite sure what to do about me – my grammar is freaking awful (beyond awful) but then I understood everything she’d say.  Either way, I’ve changed to a different class which seems really cool, and I’ve already learned in two days there more grammar than I had in the previous ~10 weeks in the other class.  My friends Justin and Claire have also changed to the new group, so yay.

Not a lot else has been going on – I wasn’t able to sleep much last week, so have pretty much just been chilling at home (/work/uni) and trying to relax.  On Friday night Nastya S and I went to a “summer party” at Lana’s flat which was incredibly random – I was tired to the point of ridiculousness so started building things out of the various house decorations, and it was really only Lana, Nastya (who – long story – is now ‘Laura 2’ and American) and I drinking: Lana’s house-mate Valentina had put an invitation to the party up on Couchsurfing, and so the people that came were… random.  Real social-outcast types.  There was one guy who wasn’t eating, because it was the full moon.  Etc.  Either way it was a nice couple of hours 🙂

Anyway, I’m going to try and get some sleep now.  Here’s a bunch of Russian demotivational pictures I’ve been stashing but haven’t had the opportunity to use before now (I collect them faster than I can post them!):


This was an ad that came up on my facebook.
This was an ad that came up on my facebook.


My favourite, paws down.
My favourite, paws down.



Also, in asking Jess permission to order some uni books to her house earlier, it occurred to me how strange it is that I live in Russia and my postal address is in Australia.  It’s just more efficient that way.  Intuitive…

Puppies and Rainbows

The last three posts have been about conflict, racism, and cannibalism; so let’s have a break and check out my students being hilarious.

Group 1: “All Star” by Smash Mouth (my phone ran out of free space halfway through sorry!)


Group 2: “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Japsen


Group 3: “It’s Rainin’ Men”, Geri Haliwell’s version


I <3 my students.