Chicken brain.
Lolly, Naz and juggling.

Well that’s it—no more Russia.  The family just let me know that as I can’t be with them all summer, they’re going to go to an English school in Cyprus rather than have me with them in Spain.  Which means in turn that I don’t really have any income (apart from 4 weeks in Finland – I can’t even tell you how much I’m screwed if that falls through!) for summer—less than ideal.  And that in turn means that I won’t be able to afford to come back to Russia: and I find that I don’t really care.  There’s still lots to explore and lots to learn, but the negatives far outweigh the positives.

The only things here for me are my friends and my studies.  I love the Russian language, I really really do.  I’m not even sure what my life would be like now without my obsession with it!  But.  There are no interesting jobs for me here, the life isn’t good here, I’m so lonely (and don’t like the men), and overall it’s just been really bad for me.  I’ve been absolutely drowning in depression for months now, and it’s not just the weather, it’s my life here.  Sure, it’s incredibly interesting—but it’s just not enough.  I’ve turned to ice, and so at the cost of making a George RR Martin reference (eugh!), I’m going somewhere a bit more fiery!

So what does this mean?  Well, another new language: after my Russian exam next month, I’ll immediately start on Spanish.  It shouldn’t be too hard, as I studied French for ten years.  As far as my summer, I’m trying to get in contact with a friend in Greece, to come visit her island for a little while; then variously, the 4 weeks in Finland and a trip to Scotland, where my friend Lark has offered her spare room for my desperate little travelling self.  And then—the new destination!

I’m already incredibly excited, and this has all only happened the last 16ish hours (I yet again didn’t sleep last night).  The new destination is another place as unknown and misunderstood as Russia, with a fair dose of chaos.  So the interesting blogging material will continue..  Hurrah!

Chicken brain.
Lolly, Naz and juggling.

5 Comments

  1. Good luck to you!! Russia is a very trying country and I find that I am depressed at times as well. I can’t wait to hear about you next adventure….go somewhere warm!! 🙂

  2. It was crystal clear from the start that Russia is not the approapriate place for you to live in. I appreciate your efforts to fight the stream, but the fight was doomed. Nevertheless you’re brave girl and I enjoyed your points of view though not always share it myself. Good luck!

    1. Lol some solid Russian optimism there Oleg. So weird – I opened this page to reply to Lacey at the exact moment you wrote this comment! And don’t worry – you’ve still got a little over a month of me writing about tearing my hair out over Russia.

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